H & T Origin Story

“We can do hard things.” – Glennon Doyle, Untamed

It feels silly to quote something so simple, because of course we can do hard things! However, that phrase hits different when you begin to deconstruct your identity, your sexuality, your gender, your faith, etc. Untamed by Glennon Doyle was that book that began unravelling everything I thought I knew about me, and it did it in the best way possible. It kicked off a spiritual journey that I was not ready for, but desperately needed. It was one of those books that touched me so deeply, that when the audiobook finished on my drive home from Lexington, KY – I had to pull over and cry! They were good, transformational tears, of course!

Right then and there I realized, I had a lot of inner work to do. I thought I had my life figured out. I thought I was working towards health, happiness, and prosperity. I thought I had a career that I would retire from in 40 years. Turns out, I was miserable, tired, and felt the weight of a lifetime of expectations laid on me, specifically as a woman.

Not to be too cliche, but I began to shed the expectations, and trade them in for the authenticity. Authenticity is hard, and we can do hard things, right?

So I set out on a journey of self-discovery! I dove in headfirst into all the podcast, self-help books, blogs, and therapy! Don’t judge, we have all been there!

In that process I began regularly journaling and reading. I have always struggled with reading; in elementary school, I even had an IEP for reading and speech. Throughout junior and senior high, I managed by using CliffNotes and having my mom read my English homework to me. Despite these challenges, I graduated in the top 20 of my class with straight A’s and earned admission to a great college.

That was the last time I got straight A’s! College was ROUGH! As I sat in my intro to special education class, we discussed learning disabilities. A flood of tears hit me when I realized, I hit all the markers for a learning disability. My professor noticed, and called me to her office after class. We scheduled for a screening and discovered that I struggle with Dyslexia! Though I would obviously not let it stop me from pursuing higher education. Fast forward a decade, and I finally have the means to get a psychological testing. I went suspecting that combined with my dyslexia, I also struggled with possible ADHD. My psychologist confirmed it.

It’s not that I struggled to read and write because I was stupid or lazy. I just didn’t have the tools to do it successfully and efficiently. Put plainly, I was set up to fail – not because God created me different, but because the systems around me worked against me.

And now that audio-books are much more accessible, I have discovered that my once arch-nemesis, “reading,” was now my greatest friend. Not just reading, but writing too! In college, I had a very eccentric adjunct English professor that just loved my writing style because it broke all conventional rules. He was fascinated with the way I would breakdown concepts, and speak with authority. That was my freshman year, by the time I graduated, he was gone and I lost my passion for writing. He was the only one to ever compliment me.

Through my spiritual journey, I rediscovered my love of writing and feel called to write, to share wisdom, to share stories, and to create community. I get to do this every day in a lovely congregation in southern Indiana. However, there is a stirring in my soul. Maybe, just maybe, my writings, wisdom, stories, and community building could be used outside of the small number of people in the pews.

Though I do have a lovely congregation, full of people doing very hard things in the name of Jesus, I still have a stirring that there is just something bigger out there, and what I need to do is be courageous and write for the larger world to read. (… or at least have it on the internet even if one ever reads it!)

So I am starting Hearth and Threshold. It’s going to be just a blog for right now. I have big plans in the next 5, or 10, or 50 years! If you read my About section, you know that I have wild life…. but this stirring can no longer be contained in my body. Sophia (Greek for Wisdom) would like to speak, and this is how I am going to nurture her.